The Dilemma of Choosing a Partner

Single for ages? Too shy to approach someone? Or simply no time with all the stress at university? With just a few clicks you can create an online dating profile and start swiping straight away. On the usual platforms, it's been a long time since only desperate housewives and older men were active. Nowadays, many young people have also discovered the possibility of virtual dating for themselves and use it with more or less serious intentions. It has already become normal to have an online dating profile as a single person.

Some users are really searching for true love, others are looking for an exciting night or they simply enjoy the validation they get from the likes. Therefore, the profile is often embellished somewhat, which has certainly already led to some surprises at the first meeting. A survey shows that one in three people lies in their online dating profile [1], with the most common deception being hiding a kilo or two. People present themselves as taller, more successful and smarter. The photo decides whether the profile is even clicked on. You have to stand out, especially as a man, from the numerous competitors, as there is an imbalance between men and women on most platforms. Of the 24-34-year-old users, 71.82% are male [2]. The online dating industry takes advantage of this and prevents men, for example, from liking or messaging unlimited women unless they purchase a premium subscription. With these subscriptions, love becomes a business from which the platforms make a fortune. In 2018, dating sites generated €39.2 million in Germany, and by 2023 this revenue is expected to rise to €50.9 million [3].

Whether you achieve more matches with a pet-loving dog selfie or with a smart business application photo depends on the user's taste. If you find the profile attractive, you swipe right; if not, you swipe left. This is usually decided within seconds, leaving no time to form a proper impression of the person. Often, just the wrong outfit, poor lighting or blurry photos are enough to send the profile into Tinder oblivion.

Because especially women (but of course men too) have an embarrassment of riches. Here you not only have the choice of supposed singles that you could meet in the city, in bars, at university or at the supermarket checkout, but also couch potatoes and 60-hour workaholics are to be found. With this mass of potential partners, many raise their expectations and become very choosy. Whether the same age, 5 years younger or older, with the same interests, habits and musical taste, the matching algorithms can theoretically spit out the perfectly matched partner for you. Whether you share the same sense of humour and get along just as well in real life is probably questionable.

Nevertheless, a large proportion of couples today meet online. You (mostly) know that the other person is single and can see if they also find you attractive. Through the first message you can get to know the other person a bit and consider whether it will come to a meeting. Overall, you have nothing to lose and can give online dating a chance. It is easy to meet new people and for some, true love might be among them. In the end, many still hold onto the hope of bumping into their dream partner with a stack of books in hand and falling in love.

Sources:

[1] Statista survey partner portals, dating apps and affair portals 2016 (infographic)

[2] zu-zweit.de. (n.d.). Gender distribution of online dating users by age group in Germany in 2018. In Statista – The Statistics Portal. Accessed 19 May 2019, from https://de.statista.com/statistik/daten/studie/940919/umfrage/geschlechterverteilung-der-online-dating-nutzer-nach-altersgruppen-in-deutschland/.

[3] Statista. (n.d.). Forecast of online revenue for dating services in Germany for the years 2017 to 2023 (in millions of euros). In Statista – The Statistics Portal. Accessed 19 May 2019, from https://de.statista.com/statistik/daten/studie/642353/umfrage/dating-services-online-umsatz-in-deutschland/.

Johanna Kreiter