I was cold when it burned and it burned brightly

It is deep, deep in winter and outside the sun does not shine.
It is deep, I sniffle, my nose is running,
Like children when they come home in the evening with red cheeks
And moss in their pockets.

Coming home I do not understand.
Home is such an abstract concept:
Four walls, or something more,
A roof, a floor, a bed and who

Or what is home for you?
A place, a collection of things?
What is my home? For you
To breathe and to sing you something.

I have stopped on the last note.
A high, cold one that I hold and emphasise 
Until it finally breaks into pauses.
Do you smoke? No, I do not smoke,

I burn! I run from the flames,
As a message to us all and from all,
That our house is burning. How subtle.
Do you remember, back then, when home fell apart?

It is cold here, are you freezing? I am cold.
It is half four, will you help me see you soon
Again? We circle in far too large rounds
Around ruins like moons and like the dogs

We search for home and howl through the night
Which makes us thoughtful and sometimes even sadder.
It is far too late to see stars,
A ship that sails over clouds will also sink in them.

It is deep and no one understands it,
No one can grasp it and everyone twists it.
People want to seize the stars
Yet cannot even reach the horizon.

People want depth and emotion,
People want decline and destruction.
People want truth and people want numbers,
People want nakedness, people want torment.

I have stopped on the last distress.
A hollow, cold existence, until death,
Which finally breaks into thousands of shards.
Are you running? No, I am not running,

I am running! I burn with rage,
A message to all: Enough is enough!
Our house is burning. How irrelevant.
Do you remember? Back then home burned down.

It was warm here, are you freezing? I am too hot.
We were here, do not ask me how I know.
We search for the end but hold in the middle
Still.

We search for home and scratch our eyes out.
Build the tower into the sky because every hero needs a hubris
And Babel goes bathing next to Atlantis.
We play for our lives and do not have the best cards.

We speak languages that no one understands.
How will you ever hear if you only see with your eyes?
Blind and deaf with a stony smile
You bring the strongest weaknesses to breaking point.

And sometimes, when I reach my lowest point at night,
Then I pray that I never become like any of you.
It hurts to only watch and always be alone,
Yet it must be hellish to always deny yourself again and again.

No, I am not what you would not want to be!
No, I am in here. I am too cold, what is outside the door.
No, I am not soft, I just do not want to freeze again
And quote from books I have never read.

My eyes hurt, of course, they are bleeding too.
I can no longer see you in front of me. Or can I?
There is a spot exactly where my eyesight used to be.
I have already forgotten what I saw in the last bright moment.

I hate the light because it shows me that I am blind.
Above the city, which shows me that I am a child in his heart,
Who sold his future for a glass of water and a handful of biscuits
Has sold. He finds us and you are next!

He makes you an offer, he gives you a choice:
Happiness, after eternal wandering or eternal torment.
But do not hesitate too long, or it will strike you like me:
I have travelled eternally full of torment whilst my finite happiness slipped away.

Turn around! In the shadows, there! Do you not see him?
There stands the sandman who promises you sugar-sweet dreams.
He lures you with it and shows you what you will never find
And then you want it so much that you lose your mind.

Home, that is such an abstract concept.
I want to travel over clouds and I
Board a ship at the next best harbour.
Because, you know what, as far as home is concerned,

It was I who blew the spark into the tinder,
Who thrust the dagger into the soul of our society,
Together, united with all the others.
We are infinitely large, but together we are small.

It is cold, the pain sits so deep after the attack.
I want to change my mind, but I cannot
Undo what I did.
Our hour has struck, from below to the chin and so hard,

That we all lose our teeth, the gleaming white ones.
We bite onto yesterday, because today is shit.
On the horizon I can see the end of the cloud cover.
A ship that sails over lies will also sink in them.

It is cold here, are you freezing? It is too much for me.
Why? Because home has fallen apart again.
Once again we circle with far too large dreams
Around ruins like moons and like the strays

We search for home and howl through the kennels,
Which sometimes makes it better and sometimes worse.
I no longer dare to look at myself in the mirror,
A society that stands on mountains of corpses must perish.

Elias Stahl