Let's talk about sex!

Take the test: How well informed are you?

Tick the correct statements: 

O Pregnancy can occur through pre-ejaculate. 
O The penis can become bent from masturbation. 
O Contraception should be used during oral sex too. 
O Two condoms on top of each other are safer. 
O Cling film can be used as a dental dam. 
O The vagina widens through frequent sex. 
O You cannot tell from the hymen whether a person is a virgin. 
O Biological sex and gender are the same thing. 
O The wetter a vagina, the more aroused the person. 

false | false | correct | false | correct | false | correct | false | correct : answers 

Admittedly, some of the answers are probably familiar to most people, but if you're like many others, you didn't gain one or another important insight on the topic of sexuality until years after it became relevant in your life.  

Perhaps the following scenario doesn't seem entirely unfamiliar to you either: Today's the day! Some classmates are more wound up than usual, they huddle their heads together whispering and giggling. Others are rather ashamed and hope that the following biology lesson passes as quickly as possible, because today's topic is sex education. Even the teacher doesn't seem particularly enthusiastic about their task, but what must be done, must be done. So first set up a question box (nobody dares to contribute anything), then quickly draw a few pictures of genitals on the board. Giggling from the back row at the word penis. Perhaps a short explanatory video on egg cell fertilisation. After that a few more worksheets to label, before finally as the highlight: everyone gets to practise putting on a condom. That's it done. 

If your sex education went something like that, it's quite likely that important questions remained unanswered. What does consent mean? How do I find out what I like? What positive sides does sexuality have? What relationship models exist besides the heteronormative one? And many more.  

You remember the multiple-choice questions above: of course you can't always know everything. Nevertheless, it becomes clear that sexual education (in schools) is rather unsatisfactory, particularly on the topic of sexual self-determination and diversity. A positive future version calls for a positive approach to sex education. This includes a reflective relationship with one's own sexuality and a good dose of openness and tolerance.  

"Schools should prepare students for life!" – This sentence probably hovers as the supreme goal of schools in our minds. Precisely because self-determined handling of sexuality is incredibly important in order to be able to "live freely", sexual education is anchored in schools. Looking at the curriculum, as a guiding thread for teachers, positive aspects of sexual education can be found. In an eighth-grade class of secondary school, for example, Protestant religious education should address current societal developments regarding diversity in gender identity and partnership models. The topic of sexual violence is also addressed here. Positively, the curriculum for third grade in home and social studies stands out in that students learn to describe features of bodily self-determination and question beauty ideals and body images. To be honest, these are only two examples, and particularly after eighth grade, the topic of sex education seems to be ticked off in many school subjects, as it barely appears in the curriculum anymore. 

After years of study and subsequent teacher training at a school, the vast majority of teachers are experienced in preparing and delivering lessons. However, conveying topics of sex education in the classroom presents some teachers with major obstacles. Feelings such as shame and embarrassed giggling on the part of students are definitely to be taken seriously, but often put teachers in a dilemma. This is evident, for example, when it comes to trust. Without trust, satisfactory sex education cannot succeed, but if the teacher becomes too involved, there is a risk of losing authority or being sexualised. That's why cooperation with external partners, such as our university group Mit Sicherheit verliebt (MSV), is great. This doesn't mean that schools are relieved of their educational mandate. Rather, it's about a complementary offering. The MSV, as a student project, offers the opportunity to address topics such as pornography, more diverse relationship models and consent using the principle of peer education. According to this principle of "youth teaching youth", we want to support young people through an exchange on equal footing in developing a self-determined, reflective and healthy relationship with their sexuality. For example, in an open conversation in small groups, people can speak more freely about feelings such as desire or uncertainties. The key is an atmosphere characterised by appreciation, so that learners don't have to fear saying or asking something wrong. If a trusting relationship can be established between all those involved, it becomes easier for students to become active and boom – we're at interactive learning. 

For us as MSV, a sex-positive attitude is particularly important for forward-looking sex education. Sexuality should be seen as something positive and in no way as something immoral, harmful or dangerous. It's important that sexual acts are not viewed one-sidedly by negatively framing the consequences of sex and desire, such as through thoughts of unwanted pregnancy or sexually transmitted infections. Particularly the positive sides of sexuality should be brought to the fore – when and why is sexuality something beautiful for you?  

We want and should therefore talk about sex. A lot and openly. We can be proud of physicality and self-determination. And we want to spread the view that sexuality is something to be discovered in schools and gladly throughout the whole world.  

In realising this future vision, however, it's not just the teachers of the respective students who are called upon. Rather, the topic of sexual education must become a whole-of-society one. Parents and politicians are also required to counter the taboo with a positive narrative of sexuality. For sex education in the future, we hope that it enables students to move through the field of sexuality with greater confidence and openness. We as a university group are actively working on this future Mit Sicherheit verliebt and are delighted by every person who accompanies and supports us on this journey.

Hanna Dietrich, Maria Gerner, Lea Issig, Tim Konze from Mit Sicherheit Verliebt (MSV)
Instagram @msv_wuerzburg